Rio Salmón

My hands are bleeding, my shoulders and muscles are aching. We rafted our longest section of the Salmon today, 22 miles. I rowed us to shore, it's powerful. Riding a wave train and striking the crest with my paddle. T-up to the waves, angle into the current, high- side if you start to tip. There is something so intuitive for me as we float downstream. A peer named Lee (also a badass outdoor woman) helped guide me and coached my ego knowing all of this white water activity is so new to me. Support, I can feel it.

We found camp on a white beach. Now that the students have finally escaped from their wetsuits, they are readying for study hall which means it is time for me to watch the river. I confess, I have an uncontrollable fear of white water, and then again I don't. I notice it's changes in the night. The sounds of high water rushing down, over rocks, to the depths of the river and gurgling back up - a boil. Low water does the same, managing to find the quickest route, through the now vulnerable rocks. The river is always changing it's appearance.

Today I felt strong. My confidence is growing with the steepness of the canyon walls. Focused, narrowing down on the few skills I have obtained only yesterday. The larger rapids are behind us now and I can rest my body among the rocks of the precambrian - mossy, damp.

Last night the students and instructors made music in the backcountry. We sang hymns into the dusk and sang the sun to sleep. The fire kept our faces illuminated, and marshmallows toasted. I find that more often than not the company you are with can make or break the back country. I'm thinking of my family now and what raw community feels like. I have it here but I'm called to keep going, keep searching. I don't why but I'm not ready to stop yet. My body says keep moving, and be inspired by the array of people you will meet and for that reason I will. This summer I will be up at Camp Orkila again and the fall? Who knows, maybe I'll finally get to live out of my car, sell all my things, read about buddhism and work on a farm. My underlying problem with that dream is self preservation, I could be helping more.

Those are the thoughts of the day... I think I'll put my fleece pants on now.